I must preface the following comments with: a) I admire many men and am not bitter, just seasoned; b) I'm NOT a technophobe, and c) I have a life.
Back to basics: increasingly adult men of all ages, creeds, races, shapes and sizes who remain single after divorce, or by choice, for examples, do so for a reason. I tried to find excuses for these confirmed bachelors but then I recalled modern women often choose autonomy. Why should empowered women who fight for equality and independence deny single men that choice?
Because these same men want it all; hence, the now cliched label, "friends with benefits, or avoiding responsibility for another human being while getting sex and meeting once a week to do an activity together. Sans the conjugal aspect, in this rapid-fire world we live in--Type As abound here, too--who has time for human contact? Many, friends for pleasure and necessity, work or volunteer more hours in the day than not.
More so, some single men call sharing one's feelings "drama," but they don't hesitate to complain about their day, lives, stress, troubles on a regular basis, saying they have a right to be angry. Many women have learned, at least I have, that today's companionship means to share experiences, leaving "feelings" on the back burner, to our detriment. In contrast, albeit reluctantly, the male community has begun to accept women whipping out our fishing rods or becoming involved in activism and politics with the proviso that we "behave," i.e. remain quiet as they ramble. Then, men attempt to stifle us when we want the floor.
Have women enabled these separate but equal men who attempt to dictate how relationships should or shouldn't be? With the influx of technology, most of which has been invented by men (women have been involved but we still see little coverage) such as e-mail, texting, streaming, smart phones which show picture perfect video, and so on, men have more incentive to retreat into their "man caves," and detach from daily intimacy. In fact, they must be inwardly celebrating that they no longer need to pick up a phone and call their girlfriends, partners or wives and can use multi-media as an excuse not to communicate.
If a man has an eclectic taste in humor and appreciates wit, I'm engaged. Surprisingly, I found "Deadpool" hilarious, and yet, I appreciate sophisticated wit, like that of Jane Austen's stories or Oscar Wilde."Hangover" and "Neighbors" reinforce vulgar behavior; I admit humor has always been subjective, but compulsory? Do I have to laugh to impress when I'm disgusted?
And as women are expected to be strong, no matter the obstacle, does that signify that females with disabilities are, thus, weak? I've met scores of men who have little patience with women's health issues though they have their own challenges.
Per my experience, available men blame everyone, everything for their plights without taking any personal responsibility, without making any effort to improve their lives. Yes, there are women on Cape who also fall into this habit. Expressing discontent is human. Spreading discontent without possible solutions, destructive.
Without bringing in a political agenda this week (read last week's blog or earlier commentary if curious), Cape Cod, in fact, is a microcosm of mainstream America. More people would rather be entertained, than informed. That's their freedom, to choose, and to their detriment, to avoid.
Having lived in an island community more than once, Singapore in particular, I am not surprised by the EMT's remark. He'd be baffled if I told him running from personal commitments is NOT "The Cape Cod Way." It's the American way.
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