I learned more from friends, books and watching movies. However, experience taught me to wait vs. acting on impulse. What did that mean? I'll refrain from sharing intimate details, but I will say that if I saw holes in a potential relationship, I sabotaged any chance for a future or I scrammed.
Then, there were the times when I wouldn't let go, believing I'd found love though one-sided. Still, like pushing a fast-forward button, I'd leave, quickly. Only later in life, much later, did I find true love. Mom would be proud. Dad, delighted with one exception: that as an educated woman I didn't keep up with the latest warnings about STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections, formerly STDs), in particular HPV. I heeded my father's, friends' and colleague's cautionary words about all the other STIs. Therefore, I waited until my partners and I were in close relationships and were tested.
When diagnosed with HPV last year, I shook my head and truly believed that as with most other women the virus would disappear in two years, as my gynecologist assured me.
And, forty years ago, we didn't have vaccines to prevent HPV. Today, we do but only for young women, and yet:
HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection (STI). HPV is a different virus than HIV and HSV (herpes). HPV is so common that nearly all sexually active men and women get it at some point in their lives. There are many different types of HPV. Some types can cause health problems including genital warts and cancers. Anyone who is sexually active can get HPV, even if you have had sex with only one person. You also can develop symptoms years after you have sex with someone who is infected making it hard to know when you first became infected. (CDC)
The CDC goes on to explain how even using a condom or even being in a monogamous relationship may not stop a woman from getting HPV. So, what should we do? For your daughter, get her vaccinated:
HPV vaccines are safe and effective. They can protect males and females against diseases (including cancers) caused by HPV when given in the recommended age groups...HPV vaccines are given in three shots over six months; it is important to get all three doses. (CDC)
Unfortunately, the vaccine is only recommended for pre-teens 11-12 to age 26 (for some groups). Screenings for HPV should begin, for women, only after age 30. So, "free love" addicts have their hands full. I'm not advocating celibacy or living in fear. The statistics for getting HPV, nonetheless, are staggering:
About 79 million Americans are currently infected with HPV. About 14 million people become newly infected each year. HPV is so common that most sexually-active men and women will get at least one type of HPV at some point in their lives. (CDC)
There are many variations of the HPV virus. Most women will never develop symptoms or if diagnosed will weather the infection without developing serious symptoms. Furthermore, the number of women who get genital warts is relatively tiny (@360,000, CDC), and cervical cancer even smaller (@11,000, CDC). These numbers change with time--they are growing everyday. Do you want your daughter to take that risk? Remember, it's her future you should be concerned about, when she's no longer living with you and you cannot protect her.
My wish for your child is that she isn't caught by surprise. That she not become one of the few who potentially gets cervical cancer. That once she finally finds the love of her life, she can enjoy every moment and not be concerned about what may be. Even if it was only a scare, I encourage women to be screened for HPV, i.e. the multitudes who didn't have access to the vaccine.
We're living in an age where HPV can be prevented. Your daughter is lucky. May she continue to be so.
For more information on HPV, follow the link: http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm
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