PEACE FROM THE GROUND UP (RE-POST)

(Rocky beach, Cape Cod Bay - All Rights Reserved)

We who celebrate holidays this time of year, often wish each other peace: like wrapping paper enfolding us in hope, future's possibilities. On the other hand, that cellophane's bright colors barely hide what's underneath.We wish each other "Peace," then resume our lives once the celebrations finish. Many return to their daily routine: family, friends, work and after-work activities. Within these structured lives, people lose sight. Wishes don't mean action.

Oscar Hammerstein wrote the iconic lyrics to: "You've Got to Be Carefully Taught." The acclaimed lyricist had prejudice in mind for this song in the musical South Pacific. However, I'd argue that besides prejudice, children are often carefully taught from a young age to fight, to react without thinking. Parents encourage a boy or girl respond to threats with overt aggression. Excluding self-defense, children learn from their parents or parent to hit another child with brute force when emotionally hurt or to impose superiority. Still, hope remains.

As postulated many times, "change comes from within." In contrast, we can't force another person to modulate their ingrained behavior. We can only set an example, as Malala Yousafzai has for others, and hope they'll follow. Where did Malala get this strength, maturity? Her family. When did this belief begin? I'd speculate from early childhood. That's where parents must start.

Not forgetting violence without regard to morality can be internal, not external. As noted in an earlier blog that mental health, including sociopathic and psychotic behavior, left untreated will continue to foster violence and will remain a stigma in any society if left untreated. However, there are other solutions that also must be pursued. For example, among the majority of youth, as long as war inflicts pain upon their families, so will the scars left behind be passed on to these children. Teaching through education, is the only vehicle to stop conflict.

If adults would not only encourage peace amidst chaos, by--spending time speaking at the dinner table or before children go to sleep and sharing anecdotes, prayers, stories that inspire peace, not conflict--our future's promise, what we wish for every year, would be fulfilled.

I don't have children, but have been among them as a teacher. I felt immense joy and sometimes sorrow when with my students. When they'd discuss how they couldn't wait to get back to their video war games or how they looked forward to pummeling their opponents in an athletic competition, I'd listen to their comments then bring in a lesson the next day about humanity. For teenagers, it's often too late to instill the old adage: "Make peace, not war." And yet, great humanitarians, like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malala Yousafzai, did and do staunchly believe in this tenet. Why? They learned their lessons early.

For me, sitting on the ground in a public place as strangers would walk by me, I'd recall that feeling of being a young child. I'd perceive certain massive, tall passersby as being intimidating, even threatening. Then, my inner voice would spring into action, reminding me not to judge without understanding. In contrast as an adult, street-smarts that I learned, living in big cities, would emerge: it's wise to be afraid of the unknown. Practical in today's violent world, yes; nevertheless, recurring fear can lead to mistrust.

This mistrust, as with recent incidents in our country between police and the community, may then breed violent responses. Moreover, in nations where war dominates every day life, the enemy could be anyone. How can any child resist becoming desensitized, inured to violent acts they see around them?

Though the path may be strewn with land mines, it's up to adults to lead the way. Let's build a bridge between the child who wonders and the adults who learn to fear what they don't understand. Only then will adults learn. Only then will their children embrace peace--from the ground up.

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