MUSIC: THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED

Discussing the decrescendo movement wafting through our country’s battered psyches had been my plan for this blog. Then I was stilled. My breathing calmed. My heart stirred. Dark sorrow surfaced and transformed me for I just finished listening to and watching, again, the “Adagietto” from Mahler’s Symphony, No. 5 on YouTube. As performed and recorded for the BBC Proms at Victoria and Albert Hall by the World Orchestra for Peace, in August 5, 2010, the movement pierces the marrow. Valery Gergiev infuses his conducting with his Russian soul, and there are moments when not even the breathing of the audience can be seen or heard.

Gergiev’s technique demonstrated deceptive subtlety, nuance. He roused his musicians with each stirring crescendo; he softened the orchestra during equally powerful decrescendos, with a slight touch of the hand, a firm eye—those were all he needed.

I’ll admit that from the time I passed puberty, I have been aroused by all forms of music with classical being notably forceful. As I grew older I thought I’d put away foolish musical things: sentimental pop, top 40 radio, and Romantic classics. Well, I hadn’t, though I widened my playlist adding eclectic choices such as alternative, jazz, blues, soul, world, neo-classical, and deeper, more pungent lyrics and/or performers.

Then, after several life-changing occurrences, I shuttered my love of music. I can’t pinpoint when I resumed my passion fully, maybe around the time when the bottom fell out from my budget and when faced with health challenges. I returned to listening to my multiple CDs, moving up to downloads from I-Tunes and finally earning an I-Phone (free upgrade) for which I’ve downloaded Pandora© and my digital playlists. In particular, the classical CDs gathering dust, including some from my late father’s collection, returned to the CD-player. And then YouTube caught my interest: it opened my eyes, ears, and emotions.

Being visual has meant that I’ve absorbed meaning more from my eyes than through listening. Sometimes I have to hear a piece multiple times before I appreciate it. I’ve been delighted to retrieve old performances on YouTube and elsewhere on-line, some of which are from thirty or more years ago, of favorite singers, groups, musicians and orchestras. Each music selection has significance, not only nostalgia but reaffirmation that great depth, exquisite beauty underscore the darkness and the light we all encounter in our lives.

I no longer run away from the pain, musically, and hope to continue to open other closed doors which I’ll reveal another day. Suffice it to say, my heart beats faster these days. And whether it be Bill Withers, Jefferson Airplane, Sinead O’Connor, pop divas and other performers (check out my 50 video list on YouTube, under Wendy S. “Favorites”); songs from Leonard Bernstein’s Candide, Gustav Mahler or other classical favorites on mainly on CD (list on YouTube under construction), or 60s,70s, 80s, 90s, and current artists on I-Tunes that cover the majority of genres, I have heard what I’ve been missing. I will never be lost again.