FAITH

  

            No, this isn’t a blog about religion. Or a treatise against or for following a particular doctrine. With the rampant cynicism and apathy in our culture, even faith, in all its incarnations has become muddled. Well, I’m writing to testify that after decades, when many taught me how to think or preached what faith should mean, I’ve found the answer—at least for myself. The answer came after examining the questions I had about self-worth and my place in this rapidly evolving world. Lessons learned over a lifetime.

            First lesson, being eclectic isn’t a liability; it’s an asset. Having many interests and studying multiple subjects or ideas doesn’t preclude a person from achieving success. Some of us are best not finding one path until we’re ready to walk it. Also, single-mindedness and limited imagination often stifles vision. In fact, as a writer taking in everything I could has brought a richness unquantifiable.

            Second lesson, everyone has an answer when they rarely understand the question. Critical thinking has taken a back seat to reactive opinions. Very few have the patience for digging deeply into subjects or weighing various positions. And, I can’t blame them. Scholars have argued in every field about the best approach to many of the world’s problems. Economists, I studied Economics as an undergraduate, rarely have agreed upon solutions. The only analyst I listen to is the Federal Reserve Chair. With all the answers provided across our media culture, we have little time or energy to investigate if the so-called experts understood the problem from the beginning.

            Third lesson, not belonging to an established church doesn’t make one a heretic if the person is catholic, universal. Revering nature and its life energy is inclusive, not exclusive. Furthermore, returning to practical fundamentals while being progressive, believing in the power of one to move many and practicing tolerance are estimable qualities that happen to be endorsed by Pope Francis, the late Nelson Mandela, the Dalai Lama to name three advocates.

            Fourth lesson learned: a cliché, coined by Polonius in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.”  Admittedly, I’m taking Shakespeare’s meaning out of context. However, in a modern context, I’ll say being true to yourself includes loving who you are. Only then as pundits have reiterated can you give and take love without reservations.

            Funny how no one embossed that idea, “self-love” in my brain with all the exposure I’ve had to higher education, religion and constant reassurance from others that I had potential to be a success. Those assurers, including family, stressed confidence, being yourself, . . . still, no one said, “Love yourself.” My mother, for instance, believed exaggerated compliments would lead to egotism. Humility to the point of self-defacement, while always expressing loving thoughts and encouragement, was my mother’s parenting approach: “You have a sweet voice but I’m glad you chose not to become a singer,” as if she were afraid my head would grow into a pumpkin if I believed I had talent. Still, as a former professional vocalist she may have had a point.

            Yet, I believe my mother and others had the capacity to answer that complex question, how do you achieve self-love? That is loving yourself can only be learned not taught. Whitney Houston tragically exemplified this credo as she sang “The Greatest Love of All” but didn’t practice the message.

            The above lessons have led to the culmination, putting it all together, the lessons and experiences which comprise who I am today: remaining curious and always learning; not assuming offered solutions indeed answer the questions; believing in a greater power which comes from within but is nurtured outwardly by those who love not hate, and  finally discovering self-love.

            Throughout my life, I’ve kept the idea of “faith” as an intangible. Nothing I could easily identify though I always knew it existed.  I knew a higher power had and continued to guide me; still I couldn’t see the truth. And then during the last two years my inner strength and new-found convictions brought happiness which I didn’t believe possible: true love for the first time, a beloved avocation which has morphed into a vocation, other passions renewed, and at last, faith in myself.